Social skills...is there an app for that?

A friend sent me this article and it fired me up about an issue that already has the tendency to get me fired up.

I just googled “Emily Post” “technology etiquette” and sure enough- there’s an Emily Post website with an entire section devoted to technology. That one must be getting an average of zero hits a day.

This technology stuff is really awesome in so many ways. I do love being able to check out the new girlfriends of ex-boyfriends and read blogs written by people I’ve never met on topics that actually hold very little interest to me. Videos of baby monkeys kissing puppies really make my life more complete. The way the internet was used to organize the protests in Egypt is amazing. But not as amazing as how the internet allowed me to learn that someone named their baby Facebook as a tribute to the place the site held in the revolution. (As a friend so astutely exclaimed, “Facebook?! For a GIRL?”)

I will write unnecessarily long emails and Youtube up a storm and I certainly am no stranger to posting on Facebook. But, I fall very short on the demands society holds for technology users. Cell phone users, especially. Generally speaking, I hate talking on the phone. If you’re Danny and the Bachelor is on, I will exchange 45 texts with you on the subject. But if you’re pretty much anyone and I’m doing pretty much anything, I may or may not answer my phone, because I just don’t feel like it. This is certainly not my best quality and people have understandably gotten pissed off at me for this one on more than one occasion. (In my defense, if you leave a voicemail with any situation that seems to warrant a response, I WILL call back.) Here’s the thing. If we hang out, as in, actually in person? You can guarantee I won’t be staring at my phone when you’re talking to me. I will most likely have it on silent or maybe I even forgot to bring it with me (Little research project I’ve conducted mostly by accident when I forget to bring my phone with me- it’s very possible to get through the day without a phone).

Emily Post’s site summarizes this topic well.

Witnessing the entire population’s ADD collectively increase both depresses and infuriates me. People. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! You are out with friends. Why are you planning the next thing? Or reading the past thing? I’m not sure if it was Ghandi who said this or not but: LIVE IN THE FRIGGIN MOMENT FOR LIKE ONE MOMENT ALL-FRIGGIN-READY. It seems that many people are under the impression that basic social skill requirements have changed with the development of new technologies. News flash: They haven’t. I’m not even concerned for people’s need to always be escaping reality and what that means for the happiness of their souls. I’m too selfish to worry about that. I’m just annoyed that I woke up from a nap to come and hang out and now hanging out seem to mean me watching someone play Angry Birds.

And how many times does Oprah need to tell you? LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! On no. Not that. Wrong Oprah lesson. DON’T TEXT WHILE YOU DRIVE!

And while I’m on this rant about technology, some of my Facebook gripes:

Apparently this pet peeve of mine has a nickname...vaguebooking. Oh man, how it gets me. “Hoping a certain someone does a certain something!” Just write what you mean: Ask me about my new boyfriend/job/fish/neuroses/whatever.

People getting pissed off at days of the week. Who knew this would become a trend?? I hate when I’m having a bad day and some know-it-all tries to “put it in perspective” with an actual global crisis. I know it must really suck to be caught in the Libyan crossfire but gosh darnit, I forgot my lunch AND there was a weird smelly guy talking to me during my entire train ride to work. HOWEVER. The repeated wah wah Debbie Downer status updates directed at days, “I broke a nail. Thanks a LOT, Tuesday!” Really? Is it Tuesday’s fault you put on your grumpy pants, which incidentally must be extremely dirty because you’ve worn them EVERY day since ever.

Old people (yes, I fall into this category) who don’t know how to work the internet. Think carefully before posting on teenagers' walls. You’re embarrassing everyone.

All right...I could go on but instead I will take my own advice and go change out of my grumpy pants.

Thanks a LOT, Monday.