why'd i have that donut?

i never met a donut that i didn't hate in the morning. they always seem like such a great idea. the smell of freshly baked lard, the glistening glaze calling out to me. "eat me." so i do. the first bite is delicious. and then, about midway through, i think, "i probably shouldn't finish this thing." but then those sprinkles stare up at me with their puppy dog eyes, and i can't resist. so then, 10 minutes later, i feel like ass and rue the day they were born. we had donuts at staff meeting this morning. i tried to counterattack with an apple, but that just made things worse. apparently, an apple a day does not necessarily keep the doctor away if that apple was preceded by a few donuts. aren't you thrilled that i created this blog? i clearly have such important information to share. my journal was beginning to feel lonely and unread. so here you have it. a place for me to complain about things that aren't that important and laugh about things that aren't that funny. another complaint... strangers who, when i'm just walking along minding my own business, say, "smile...it's not that bad!" i always feel the urge to respond with something that is indeed THAT bad. "thanks, caleb" (they're usually named caleb- at least in my mind). "i guess you're right...losing my entire family in a fire and just being diagnosed with a terminal illness isn't THAT bad. i mean, if we're comparing it to something like...debra messing's acting ability. now that's BAD! thanks, man! i mean, i thought i just wasn't smiling because i don't know you and i don't owe it to you to seem happy at every f-ing moment, but you've really taught me a lot with those five precious words. i better let you get back to jamming on your bongos." i'm addicted to "queer as folk." i blame this addiction on netflix. as for my addiction to netflix, i guess i'll just blame that on my mom. when in doubt, blame it on your parents. you'd think that living in the bay area would provide all the gay drama a gal needs, but apparently not. i am joneseing to watch brian be a complete ass. then i yell at the screen and wish he was my boyfriend. shit, do i have penis envy? this blog is making me come to some difficult conclusions. enough for today.